I think that being a lady nowadays means just being a cultural and well-behaved woman. A woman that takes care of her is erudite and know even basic savoir-vivre rules can be called a lady. She don't need to walk in white gloves on hands with a book on top of her head. In my surrounding I could find some ladies. They usually wear jeans and loose sweaters. They can swear like sailors, they talk with passion and have a passion. They like good books and films and very miserable ones too. They are not full time ladies, but when they need to – they are as true as those from not-that-good old days.
From what you have written one might conclude that the concept of a lady is indeed dead: if swearing is allowed and passion seems to be the main defining characteristic then a lady is no one else but an independent woman.
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