Reflection #5

     Since nearly over a year I ask myself some questions. Does friendship have got an expiration date? Does universal friendship-preservative exist? Does this person even care about me? Is it me? How?
     Last school year most of my relationships died. Usually they were not murdered or didn't commit a suicide – they just died. Sometimes I visit their graves by saying „hello” or asking „how are you?”. I don't try to bring flowers or light candles. I acknowledged that they are dead. I know how this happened – they were based on seeing each other every day. Without this factor their death was predictable. But there was one relationship based not only on seeing each other every day which also died. Quite dramatically because I am not even visiting its grave. And there is this question – is it me?
     The answer is –NO! Maybe it sounds selfish. Maybe some people say that I don't want to see any problem in me. It's not true. Sometimes I feel people forget that keeping friendship alive depends not only on one lonely person. We are friends with someone not to be alone. So remember – don't defibrillate someone who don't want to be defibrillated.
     Next question is – does perfect preservative for friendship exist? No. I don't know any. If you respect yourself you won't try to be one. Preservative is you both and a magic sparkle. And no one knows what this sparkle is.
     Every frienship will end some day. Maybe it will end because you lost its base. Maybe the sparkle was only a spook. Maybe this friendship was never as real as you thought. You need to remember to let it go. Sometimes before you will burry this relationship you need to explain some things to let it rest in peace.
     Don't be sad or maybe angry that I wrote „every friendship will end some day”. If it's real it will last „till death do you apart”.